My Husband

Oh, Lao Gong, you don't know how much you mean to me, after all these years, after I complained about you all the time, after I made you upset, heart-breaking many times, after I am away from you right now, I know I cannot live without you. Yes, I've taken so much from you and didn't give back to you much, it is like withdraw from a love bank and didn't deposit. I pray to God this will be changed, I am growing up after my 30s, I will learn to be submissive to you, listen to you and respect you from my heart. Your character is so precious to me, I am thankful God has given you to me and I do wish this Labor Day weekend will be different for us. I need God's help to be a gentle wife, be considerate and won't make you angry. Actually I can't promise those nice things but I do ask help from our Lord to build me, to be a better one. To Him, there is nothing impossible, so God, please, please help me, give us a memorable weekend we can talk and cherish later. Dear Lao Gong, you are always there, support me, comfort me, maybe you sometimes were not physically there with me, your heart is there. I do pray God will strengthen you so that you will not be depleted. You've already had a lot of pressure from various ways, and I added it on you, sorry. We are the perfect one for each other, and will always be. I love you and will fill in our love bank from now on. Kiss you.

Tough day

Today it was not easy. I got to school around 8:00am and began the department meeting at 8:30, then from 10:00 the university faculty meeting started and we had luncheon together. Then I was waiting for the computer specialist to help me hook my laptop in the master room but he never showed up. Finally after 4:30pm, a graduate CS student helped me and I was really thankful. We kept asking for the username and password in the classroom in Mass Communication building and no one could help and I had to physically go there again to check the computer and projector to make sure they are ready for my class next Monday. When I came out of the building I almost cried and I was praying that God leads my way and prepare for me. I was typing my teaching notes for the whole afternoon until after 6:00pm, I had to go back and forth from my laptop to my office desktop 'cause there is no Maple on it yet! It took me a long time just to save the figure files from Maple, something was wrong, I always got blank for the EPS files. I also needed to run Matlab to produce the graphs for my slides. I was disappointed that the new PhD program with life science concentration was declined and the other two concentrations haven't been submitted to the board of regions yet. I need to take part in regular seminars in order to keep up my research and I am crossing my figures on that. Finally at 9:00pm I arrived at Belmont United Methodist Church and found the Chinese Bible study 5 minutes before then finished and drove back in the heavy rain. I arrived home after 10:00pm. What a long day! It is raining and we need it. Tomorrow is another day.

Prep for the new semester

Today, finally I finished posting the files to the server and my new webpage is working! Woo! And I began to type my teaching notes using LaTeX and enjoy that so far. I don't know how to draw curves using pstrick but I leave some blanks for students to fill in and keep them motivated and interested. Hopefully by the end of the semester, we will be successful. I checked the classrooms but Maple 11 is not ready yet, I am crossing my fingers and the worst case will be I bring my laptop.

Missing my husband

I miss my husband so much that I cannot describe. We didn't cherish something until we lost it. Fortunately I am close to my husband and I can see him very often. I am so thankful. Hopefully he will find a job in Nashville area and we can settle down.

Moving to Murfreesboro/Nashville

My husband and friends helped me move to the new town and I really appreciate that. Just coming back from Nashville greyhound, I started to miss my husband, thinking of all the good things he did for me. I am sorry I was not gentle to him these past few days, the weather is too hot. We really need some rain to cool us down. I wish to see him very soon, I cannot wait until the next time he sees me, which maybe 10 days or two weeks later. Oh, God, please be with us, guide and lead us. Be humble.

Calm

These days my heart is troubled, uneasy and not peaceful. It is very hot, right now 98F, it has never been like this here. Only when i am reading the Bible, I can feel a little bit better, but the last books by those prophets talking about the punishment from God and made me worried. I wonder where the sin came from? It cannot be from God, but we are created by Him, everything, so .... But I do know God is love, He reveals His love through His beloved son - Jesus, He died for us for our sins. That is enough. I can keep my questions and one day I will understand. Oh, Lord, help me and comfort me, give me peace and joy, because you are the source of them. Let me praise you, with all my heart, under any circumstances, because you love me first. " I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness", Jeremiah 31:3. I feel much better.

San Jose trip

Silicon valley lies all the IT companies. Rocky Mountain on one side, the other side is full of yellow grass. It was a nice meeting and I enjoyed it, but I don't like California. Too noisy, I cannot calm down. I like the green color in Tennessee, wherever I go, I miss the trees in smokies. I am grateful I will go to Murfreesboro, near a big city but we have peace in this small, neat town. Whenever I go on a trip, I miss my husband.

Love Never Fails: 5. Flowers

When did he give her flowers? She thinks it was the Valentine's day in 1996. This was the first flowers she's ever got and she loved it. I always believe man should give flowers to their love, it is so beautiful. And after that, she will get flowers at the important dates and some special occassions. Quite a few unexpected and surprise, and she thinks he is romantic. He doesn't spend much, but for her, he would within a certain limit. Recently they bought a new pair of rings and it looks good on his ring finger. She had a golden one and this is a white gold. And she knows there will a diamond on the way but she is not sure if she really wants one. It is for decoration, not for household work. He is kind of musculine, but with tenderness. It is a nice combination, strong and gentle, all in one.

Love Never Fails: 4. Travel and Visit

After Heitu's (earth) graduation, Baiyun (cloud) didn't detain him, he worked in a town about 1.5 hours drive from the city where they went to college. This started her regular visit to his school. Every Friday after class, she would take a small van to him and left Sunday morning. That was a cherishable time. They were young and simple, didn't ask much. They were satisfied with all they had. When she was leaving, he would remember the license plate and wait for her call to make sure she was safe. She knew this after he moved to the city. Her heart is warm, knowing he cares her so much, like a treasure, a baby in his hand. Can you visualize it? How long was that? One and a half years or two years? Maybe the latter. Their enjoyed their food, flowers, time and everything they were together. She was very good at study and she remembered once after she came back from him, she almost got a perfect score in Differential Equation. They remembered the hot pot, cuttlefish with tofu soup, steamed bread with meat, etc.

The Beatitude and the fruits of the Holy Spirit

基督叫我們信徒所追求的「八福」：虛心、哀慟、溫柔、饑渴慕義、憐恤人、清心、 使人和睦、為義受逼迫.

再說聖靈所結的果子：仁愛、喜樂、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信實、溫柔、節制。

God is shaping me

I have been thinking: why I had depression; why my visit to the guy caused that fight with my husband? I believe God is shaping me, molding me into a better one. I was self-contemptuous and proud at the same time. I was not 100% commited to my husband. God knows it and I wouldn't admit it, so He is using those things to open my eyes and see myself through. From depression, I know I can do nothing and have to rely on Him, then I am learning to trust Him joyfully. I was not perfectly satisfied with my husband, of course I love him but not with my whole heart, there was something missing. But now I can confidently say I can do it with all my heart and all my mind, it is still a learning process and I am getting better and better. He knows what is best for me, with His unfailing love, patience and discipline, He is giving me an abundant life and I am thankful. I try my best to do my part and He will take care of everything. It is so good to know Him.

Grown up and etc.

Today we went to my new school to do the paperwork for the benefit plans etc. I got my new ID and the picture looks different from the one I currently have. I am more mature. You can really see the difference. The old one is naive and the new one is grown up. I think I am ready to be a mom, haha.

I like this town, small but neat, also close to the big city where I can buy and see things. I like the main street, very nice houses and churches. I need to explore the west part of the town. We found out the garage is not connected to our townhouse and it costs a lot more to rent one, so we give up. But I do hope our new car will be well protected. Maybe we need to look for new rent after my husband moves in. We are thinking we need to wait one more year to buy a house. I need to be familar with the neighborhood and get more information.

I hope my new job goes well and everything is ready when I get there. New start, new life. I am ready.

熬夜常识 (ZT)

========================================== 　

熬夜常识

　　熬夜也要有技巧，才能依然身体硬朗，否则，铁打的身体，也受不了如此的日夜 操劳呢～因此，想要熬夜的您，千万记住：

1. 不要吃泡面来填饱肚子，以免火气太大，最好尽量以水果、土司、面包、清粥小菜来充饥。



2. 开始熬夜前，来一颗维他命ｂ群营养丸，维他命ｂ能够解除疲劳，增强人体免疫力。



3. 提神饮料，最好以绿茶为主，可以提神，又可以消除体内多余的自由基，让您神清气爽；但是肠不好的人，最好改喝枸杞子泡热水的茶，可以解压，还可以明目呢！



4. 熬夜前千万记得卸妆，或是先把脸洗干净，以免厚厚的粉层或油渍，在熬夜的煎熬下长满脸痘痘。 　



5. 熬夜之后，第二天中午时千万记得打个小盹。生理时钟，一般而言熬夜是不容易补救的，补救的原则还是建议您改回原来的睡眠时间，尤其是熬夜会使生理时钟发生问题，此时要改回原先的睡觉时间会较难，可建议您不论前一晚多晚睡，次日一定同一时间起床（如设定７点起床），白天想睡时不可卧床大睡，仅能趴着小睡如此便能逐渐将入睡时间提早。

========================================== 　

生　理　时　钟　说　明 　　

• 00：00～01：00 浅眠期 多梦而敏感，身体不适者易在此时痛醒。 　



• 01：00～02：00 排毒期 此时肝脏为排除毒素而活动旺盛，应让身体进入睡眠状态，让肝脏得以完成代谢废物。 　　



• 02：00～03：00 休眠期 重症病人最易发病的时刻，常有患病者在此时死亡，熬夜最好勿超过这个时间。 　



• 09：00～11：00 精华期 此时为注意力及记忆力最好，且工作与学习的最佳时段。



• 12：00～13：00 午休期 最好静坐或闭目休息一下再进餐，正午不可饮酒，易醉又伤肝哦！ 　



• 14：00～15：00 高峰期 是分析力和创造力得以发挥淋漓的极致时段！



• 16：00～17：00 低潮期 体力耗弱的阶段，最好补充水果来解馋，避免因饥饿而贪食致肥胖。 　



• 17：00～18：00 松散期 此时血糖略增，嗅觉与味觉最敏感，不妨准备晚膳来提振精神。



• 19：00～20：00 暂憩期 最好能在饭后３０分钟去散个步或沐浴，放松一下，纾解一日的疲倦困顿。 　



• 20：00～22：00 夜修期 此为晚上活动的巅峰时段，建议您善用此时进行商议，进修等需要思虑周密的活动。 　　



• 23：00～24：00 夜眠期 经过镇日忙碌，此时应该放松心情进入梦乡，千万别让身体过度负荷，那可得不偿失哦！ 　　

提醒大家小心注意自己身体，让人生更加健康充实，晚了就来不及了！！！

Seven characters of Christians

Be thankful, repent, find out break walls, rebuild yourself, rely on Him, have peace and triumphs.

Harry Potter and others

We saw "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" last night and I like it. I heard there is controversy about it but remember "Star War", there is also a Lord of the Dark. The war between evil and good is always there, no matter you admit it or not. Since Satan has been falling, we have to fight it. At the end, Harry said:"there is one thing Voldemort doesn't have, it is what we fight for". I believe it is a good summary of the whole movie, Satan wants us to hate, grudge, be indifferent, seperate ... But Jesus is love, you can feel warmth, friendship, guidance, grace, mercy watering upon us, you are full of Him and no fear any more.

The Nature

Recently I pay attention to the nature a lot, I found out there has been such a harmony in nature more than the human society. When you see the pengiuns in Antarctica, the amazing animals in Africa, ... you are wondering what a creation! What a universe we live in! We are so constrained and limited by ourselves, there are a huge world out there, far more delicate than us. Aren't we assigned the job to manage all these? It is so beautiful and magnificent! When we see the nature, using our eyes, ears, nose and heart, we will have a better sense and understanding. Amazing grace.

Attitude

Your attitude dermines who you are, what you are doing and what you will accomplish. We often don't pay attention about our attitudes simply because we don't realize our own problems. We can judge and criticize the others easily, but we cannot see through us. It is good to have some friends who can say things to you directly, knowing you wouldn't like it but it will benefit you in the future. Proverb is a good listing of things to do, but we really need to humble ourselves, examine ourselves, and often ask for strength from Him to do it. We need to be cleansed and step further to have an abundant life, to gain fruits that we cannot imagine now. The hope is so true that we don't believe it. In our limited heads, we couldn't think what He thinks and do what He does. Be soft and humble in our hearts and we can fulfill a lot more.

Creating a Positive Professional Image (ZT)

Q&A with: Laura Roberts
Published: June 20, 2005
Author: Mallory Stark


Executive Summary:
In today’s diverse workplace, your actions and motives are constantly under scrutiny. Time to manage your own professional image before others do it for you. An interview with professor Laura Morgan Roberts.


About Faculty in this Article:
Laura Roberts is an assistant professor in the Organizational Behavior unit at Harvard Business School. More Working Knowledge from Laura Roberts Laura Roberts - Faculty Research Page

As HBS professor Laura Morgan Roberts sees it, if you aren't managing your own professional image, others are.


"People are constantly observing your behavior and forming theories about your competence, character, and commitment, which are rapidly disseminated throughout your workplace," she says. "It is only wise to add your voice in framing others' theories about who you are and what you can accomplish."


There are plenty of books telling you how to "dress for success" and control your body language. But keeping on top of your personal traits is only part of the story of managing your professional image, says Roberts. You also belong to a social identity group—African American male, working mother—that brings its own stereotyping from the people you work with, especially in today's diverse workplaces. You can put on a suit and cut your hair to improve your appearance, but how do you manage something like skin color?


Roberts will present her research, called "Changing Faces: Professional Image Construction in Diverse Organizational Settings," in the October issue of the Academy of Management Review.
She discusses her research in this interview.


Mallory Stark: What is a professional image?
Laura Morgan Roberts: Your professional image is the set of qualities and characteristics that represent perceptions of your competence and character as judged by your key constituents (i.e., clients, superiors, subordinates, colleagues).


Q: What is the difference between "desired professional image" and "perceived professional image?"
A: It is important to distinguish between the image you want others to have of you and the image that you think people currently have of you.

Most people want to be described as technically competent, socially skilled, of strong character and integrity, and committed to your work, your team, and your company. Research shows that the most favorably regarded traits are trustworthiness, caring, humility, and capability.

Ask yourself the question: What do I want my key constituents to say about me when I'm not in the room? This description is your desired professional image. Likewise, you might ask yourself the question: What am I concerned that my key constituents might say about me when I'm not in the room? The answer to this question represents your undesired professional image.

You can never know exactly what all of your key constituents think about you, or how they would describe you when you aren't in the room. You can, however, draw inferences about your current professional image based on your interactions with key constituents. People often give you direct feedback about your persona that tells you what they think about your level of competence, character, and commitment. Other times, you may receive indirect signals about your image, through job assignments or referrals and recommendations. Taken together, these direct and indirect signals shape your perceived professional image, your best guess of how you think your key constituents perceive you.


Q: How do stereotypes affect perceived professional image?
A: In the increasingly diverse, twenty-first century workplace, people face a number of complex challenges to creating a positive professional image. They often experience a significant incongruence between their desired professional image and their perceived professional image. In short, they are not perceived in the manner they desire; instead, their undesired professional image may be more closely aligned with how their key constituents actually perceive them.

What lies at the source of this incongruence? Three types of identity threats—predicaments, devaluation, and illegitimacy—compromise key constituents' perceptions of technical competence, social competence, character, and commitment. All professionals will experience a "predicament" or event that reflects poorly on their competence, character, or commitment at some point in time, due to mistakes they have made in the past that have become public knowledge, or competency gaps (e.g., shortcomings or limitations in skill set or style).

Members of negatively stereotyped identity groups may experience an additional form of identity threat known as "devaluation." Identity devaluation occurs when negative attributions about your social identity group(s) undermine key constituents' perceptions of your competence, character, or commitment. For example, African American men are stereotyped as being less intelligent and more likely to engage in criminal behavior than Caucasian men. Asian Americans are stereotyped as technically competent, but lacking in the social skills required to lead effectively. Working mothers are stereotyped as being less committed to their profession and less loyal to their employing organizations. All of these stereotypes pose obstacles for creating a positive professional image.


Even positive stereotypes can pose a challenge for creating a positive professional image if someone is perceived as being unable to live up to favorable expectations of their social identity group(s). For example, clients may question the qualifications of a freshly minted MBA who is representing a prominent strategic consulting firm. Similarly, female medical students and residents are often mistaken for nurses or orderlies and challenged by patients who do not believe they are legitimate physicians.


Q: What is impression management and what are its potential benefits?
A: Despite the added complexity of managing stereotypes while also demonstrating competence, character, and commitment, there is promising news for creating your professional image! Impression management strategies enable you to explain predicaments, counter devaluation, and demonstrate legitimacy. People manage impressions through their non-verbal behavior (appearance, demeanor), verbal cues (vocal pitch, tone, and rate of speech, grammar and diction, disclosures), and demonstrative acts (citizenship, job performance).


My research suggests that, in addition to using these traditional impression management strategies, people also use social identity-based impression management (SIM) to create a positive professional image. SIM refers to the process of strategically presenting yourself in a manner that communicates the meaning and significance you associate with your social identities. There are two overarching SIM strategies: positive distinctiveness and social recategorization.


Positive distinctiveness means using verbal and non-verbal cues to claim aspects of your identity that are personally and/or socially valued, in an attempt to create a new, more positive meaning for that identity. Positive distinctiveness usually involves attempts to educate others about the positive qualities of your identity group, advocate on behalf of members of your identity group, and incorporate your background and identity-related experiences into your workplace interactions and innovation.


Social recategorization means using verbal and non-verbal cues to suppress other aspects of your identity that are personally and/or socially devalued, in an attempt to distance yourself from negative stereotypes associated with that group. Social recategorization involves minimization and avoidance strategies, such as physically and mentally conforming to the dominant workplace culture while being careful not to draw attention to identity group differences and one's unique cultural background.


Rather than adopting one strategy wholesale, most people use a variety of strategies for managing impressions of their social identities. In some situations, they choose to draw attention to a social identity, if they think it will benefit them personally or professionally. Even members of devalued social identity groups, such as African American professionals, will draw attention to their race if it creates mutual understanding with colleagues, generates high-quality connections with clients, or enhances their experience of authenticity and fulfillment in their work. In other situations, these same individuals may choose to minimize their race in order to draw attention to an alternate identity, such as gender, profession, or religion, if they feel their race inhibits their ability to connect with colleagues or clients.


Successful impression management can generate a number of important personal and organizational benefits, including career advancement, client satisfaction, better work relationships (trust, intimacy, avoiding offense), group cohesiveness, a more pleasant organizational climate, and a more fulfilling work experience. However, when unsuccessfully employed, impression management attempts can lead to feelings of deception, delusion, preoccupation, distraction, futility, and manipulation.


Q: How do authenticity and credibility influence the positive outcomes of impression management attempts?
A: In order to create a positive professional image, impression management must effectively accomplish two tasks: build credibility and maintain authenticity. When you present yourself in a manner that is both true to self and valued and believed by others, impression management can yield a host of favorable outcomes for you, your team, and your organization. On the other hand, when you present yourself in an inauthentic and non-credible manner, you are likely to undermine your health, relationships, and performance.


Most people use a variety of strategies for managing impressions of their social identities. Most often, people attempt to build credibility and maintain authenticity simultaneously, but they must negotiate the tension that can arise between the two. Your "true self," or authentic self-portrayal, will not always be consistent with your key constituents' expectations for professional competence and character. Building credibility can involve being who others want you to be, gaining social approval and professional benefits, and leveraging your strengths. If you suppress or contradict your personal values or identity characteristics for the sake of meeting societal expectations for professionalism, you might receive certain professional benefits, but you might compromise other psychological, relational, and organizational outcomes.


Q: What are the steps individuals should take to manage their professional image?
A: First, you must realize that if you aren't managing your own professional image, someone else is. People are constantly observing your behavior and forming theories about your competence, character, and commitment, which are rapidly disseminated throughout your workplace. It is only wise to add your voice in framing others' theories about who you are and what you can accomplish.


Be the author of your own identity. Take a strategic, proactive approach to managing your image:

Identify your ideal state.

• What are the core competencies and character traits you want people to associate with you?
• Which of your social identities do you want to emphasize and incorporate into your workplace interactions, and which would you rather minimize?

Assess your current image, culture, and audience.

• What are the expectations for professionalism?
• How do others currently perceive you?

Conduct a cost-benefit analysis for image change.

• Do you care about others' perceptions of you?
• Are you capable of changing your image?
• Are the benefits worth the costs? (Cognitive, psychological, emotional, physical effort)

Use strategic self-presentation to manage impressions and change your image.

• Employ appropriate traditional and social identity-based impression management strategies.
• Pay attention to the balancing act—build credibility while maintaining authenticity.

Manage the effort you invest in the process.

• Monitoring others' perceptions of you
• Monitoring your own behavior
• Strategic self-disclosure
• Preoccupation with proving worth and legitimacy

About the author
Mallory Stark is a career information librarian at Baker Library.

Today my husband said:

不知道你在女人中有多美，但是你在我心中是最爱的. 我爱你是没有限制的，一直延续的. I am so moved and feel loved.

Love Never Fails: 3. Visit His parents

How long did they date before she met his parents? Didn't remember exactly. His parents live near the moon lake in a small town one and a half hours from her city. She found out he is very respectful to his parents and honor them. This rang a bell in her heart and she was closer to him after this visit. His parents like her and made a lot of delicious food. She likes that small town and everything was new to her.

Faith, Hope and Love.

Love is the greatest among the three. Of course first we should have faith, a leap of faith will lead to hope, which gives you energy and strength to do things, but without love, both are nothing. "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. " 1 Corinthians 2-8a.

Planning for baby

My husband and I have known each other for 12 years and married for 6 years. The PhD in US delayed our kid, maybe it is God's way to help us/me to find out I love kids. I worried about too many things, now I am learning to lean on God, let Him decide when is the best time. I need to exercise which my husband already began, eat healthy food, good rest. Let us wait for the blessing.

Love Never Fails: 2. Dating

When did they start dating? Naturally. There was even no time that he said: would you be my girlfriend? He just introduced her to his friends at a dinner table: "this is my girlfriend." They like each other as time went by. First she had an illusion that he was after some other girl in her dorm and said: "he will love his wife with all the heart." She was right. One night he helped friends have a big fight and she cried and thought she would never see him again. The next day when she saw him at the dining center, she smiled and relieved. This was the first time that she knew she cared for him very much.

They like to walk around the campus for hours, without holding hands to holding hands tightly. It was a beautiful feeling. He bought a traditional Chinese dress for her and he wore shorts and T-shirts. It was funny to see they were together, a shy, gentle young lady and a strong, masculine guy. At that time, each class was assigned an instructor, who is responsible for the educational and political purposes. They and their leaders were against Cloud and Earth. It is unbelievable that these two can be together. It is so different from America that nobody will interfere your personal life. Here the instructors need to make sure you are not swinging away from the mean. She was top one in her class and he was not that good. He was not in the mood of studying at that time after the college entrance examination which has killed a lot of young people pursuing higher degrees.

Occasionally they saw movies together without popcorn or Coke. In a smaller movie place, you cannot say it is a movie theater. But they enjoyed it. Unlike those dating boy and girl friends, they didn't have lunch together, they went with their good friends, maybe met sometimes and they would join with each other. Time went by.

Love Never Fails: 1. Meet

How did Baiyun (Cloud) and Heitu (Earth) meet? In the volleyball playground, somehow she intended to let the ball fly away and made him pick it up from far away. Then he was on the cheering group for her volleyball game and she was the captain of the volleyball team in the department, of course they were amatuers, not professionals. They were in the same department.

One evening, when she was studying he asked her out. She talked a lot with him, really a lot. She wore a long skirt. At that time, she was writing letters with her high school classmate, who she liked, but she told him everything. Then he asked her to bring moon cake but she didn't, instead she brought big, nice apples and he and a friend visited her dorm and she was so nervous and excited and gave him the apples. She believe he gave her the first flowers on Valentine's day, 1995.

A novel

I am thinking to write an online novel based on my story, of course with some polishment, adding salt and pepper. I always want to do it.

Repent and friendship

Sometime when we are in difficulties, hardship, we want listener, comfortor, but we need to realize we need to repent, it is hard, we don't want to do it, there is a small voice wispering: you need to repent. Take that voice, pray and try to do it, you feel uncomfortable, but after you make the first step, everything is different. Last night, two sisters in the Lord apologized to me and I apologized to God before that time. I asked for forgiveness and blessing for all of us. And He listened to me. I feel great and energized. Friend, say sorry to those whom you hurt and who hurt you. The heaven is near, repent, this is what I read this morning when I was in the doctor's office.

Answer to my prayer

Today God once again answered my prayer and I have peace in my heart. His words are so powerful and can heal any wounds, physically, mentally or spiritually. I am very thankful. My journal in US is fruitful in a sense that I have known Him and be loved by Him, it is much more than the PhD i got. I always wonder why I had the depression, experienced all those tough times? I know He is with me all the time, sometime holding me in His arm, sometime let me wander away but always take me back, accept me no matter what. What a great gift I've got from Him! I have gradually learned my husband's love, I know he loves me from the bottom of his heart, but it is more than that. God uses him to heal me, big or tiny wounds, even the one hidden somewhere, maybe the one I intended to forget. His love, pureness and fire are healing me. Friends, how much I want to share with you His greatness, His almighty. I want you to experience Him, our heavenly Father! Put your hand on your heart and ponder and search your soul. I am thankful for everything I have, in the past, current and in the future. I wish you all the best!

Love

What is love? I pray today that I love my husband is as much as he loves me. I don't know how deep God loves me but I do know He loves me so much, as who I am now. I am His beloved daughter. I can laugh, cry, beg, shout, ask for anything from Him although I know He may not give me. He only gives what is best for me. He disciplines me too. But I am His daughter, this is the privilege He granted me, no matter what, no matter how the world views me, I am His daughter. Do you know the meaning of a daughter to Father? Oh, you don't know. It is so deep and wide, how far the heaven is from the earth, how much He loves me, no matter what. I love you too, Daddy.

Marriage

We had a big fight again. Tue night when i was filling the online divorce form, although i didn't open many windows, my laptop freezed, i couldn't do anything, the second day, when my husband wanted to fill in the same form, somehow google couldn't find it. And he calmed a lot, he said God says when someone curses you which i did, don't curse back, all those will become blessings and i do believe this is true. God is working miraculously.First the first time in my life I believe because of God my marriage cannot be destroyed by Satan, I know it.I will fight with Satan with the help of the Holy weapons God granted us with my husband and defend our marriage. Don't worry any more, We won. And i have a new blog now, all my thoughts will go there, i need spiritual union with my husband and i am the rib under his heart and we are one. Love never fails.

Sister

Someone once told me "once sis, always sis, sealed forever". I have a younger beautiful sister but I've never acted like a big sister which made me feel sorry for her. She is smart and cute. I wish all the best for her, her love, marriage, job, everything. I love you, sis.

Hello

Hi, this is Phoenix. Today I created my blog and want to share ideas/thoughts with people. I want to open my eyes and see the beauty inside every creation. No matter what we are, there is a hero inside us we need to discover. It is hidden, maybe deeply somewhere and we need to dig and transform ourselves into a new person.

Thank you!